This is NOT Over

Monday Oct 9, 1989 She Comes in Colors

Went to all my classes today yet I do not feel any smarter.

Talked with Bill about quitting the radio show. Tonight might be our last night. I don't know why I'm so moody. Is it because I am sober? Lousy sobriety. Well, we can change that soon enough.

Ahhhh, there. That's better.

You know who took me aside after my shift at the front desk. She said Little Miss D asked her a ton of questions about me and how to manage me. Kim said she gave the girl some bullshit answers just to get out of the conversation but also told me I should talk to Miss D and try to do the right thing here. She's probably right. I can't be all "smoochy smoochy" one night and then "let Bill Garver hold your head while you vomit" the next. How's that gonna look? Technically I don't know how it looked because I left.

Actually I think learning how and when to leave might make me a healthier individual. Knowing when stuff is over and it is time to move on...it seems like I was never cool enough to figure that thing out. In the past I'd just hang on and on and on, and for what? To get my shit handed to me, that's what. The people who left me behind in the past always seemed happy. Shit always seemed to work out for them. So maybe if I leave this situation, and leave it the right way without being a total dick, things will work out. It's not like I fucked anybody here anyway. Leaving is the natural thing to do. Come to think of it, what am I leaving? Maybe I should say nothing. Not coming, not inviting not anythinging might be preferable to saying, "I am leaving this nothing we established. I hope you're ok with that." That might be more confusing than anything else I may or may not do with this girl.

Bill and I made the trek to the station. Half way out there I realized I forgot to call E`{`. I didn't have to call her. Much to my surprise, when Bill and I got to Kishwaukee Hall, there she was. In living color, pretty little curls in her red hair and all. Am I going to go through all this again? No.

So E`{` and I went to have a quick dinner while Bill hung out at the station with John John who was doing his laundry. I hope that was fun.

During the show some girl, probably Jen McF, kept calling and hitting on Bill. She called him Indy because he's been wearing that hat around the lobby in Douglass Hall. Hey, Bill Garver has an image to keep...especially in front of his disciples. I can just hear him say, "Ed, I don't have disciples."

While this girl, probably Jen McF, was coming on to Bill and calling him Indy, me 'n Khyle put on the Raiders theme and it was some hilarious stuff. The best line was, of course from Bill who is one of the funniest people I have ever ever met (and for a 20 year old piece of shit I have managed to meet a not insignificant amount of people, some of whom are very funny) but Bill said, "No ma'am. I don't have a whip. I do have a long pencil that I'm using to fill out the station log if that counts."

Priceless.

Bill said he could finish the show with Shawn and Khyle if I was going to walk E`{` home. Fine by me. It was a beautiful night. Too beautiful to be inside playing a rare live version of Pow R. Toc H. for the 3rd week in a row. It was just right for walking my little red haired girl home. I say "my" not because we are dating but because I'd like to think I'm at least the Charlie Brown in my own story. Who am I kidding? I don't have the character of a balding, neurotic kid and I'd probably kick the hell out of most of the other Peanuts for sassing me and treating me like shit when I am the only reason people read the comic. What?

Back to E`{`. Made it to her place. We sat in the kitchen and talked. She showed me her etchings. Unfortunately they were actual etchings. They were pretty good etchings but I'd probably rather have the metaphoric etchings. Who am I kidding? I love art chicks and I don't care if we sit around looking at their etchings all night. I'd rather do this than do the get drunk and couple, wake up and try to get out of another mess routine. She showed me her silver work and then some amazing color photos. She comes in colors everywhere...

- just artwork

- no making out or anything

And that's fine with me.