This is NOT Over

Monday Jan 8, 1990 Elvis’ Birthday (even tho he is still dead) and I Do the Right Thing

Last fucking night I laid it on the line with Ronnie Z. It’s “laid it on the line” isn’t it? Who gives a fuck.

I told him (and I sort of quote), “Fuck you. I am not your errand boy or mule-to-be. You want to do whatever you want to do in DeKalb, you do it with Danny. I’ve got enough troubles without you to…well, without you. I know you think you can do whatever you want to me but just let me repeat ‘Fuck you! Do it! See if I care’”

Ok, it probably did not come out sounding that fucking cool, but I stood my ground. No matter how fucked up things are, I still decide what I am a part of and no one is going to tell me what to do. Ronnie said something like, “If Jimmy was here it would be different with you.”

He’s probably right, but Jimmy isn’t here. Jimmy is in the army and I’m not even “here” anymore (the “here” being Joliet). My mom drove me to DeKalb Sunday evening. I survived another break and declared my independence.

But for how long?

Shawn and I drank beers and looked at the Elvis shrine in my room for way too fucking long. It was good to be back with him. He is so much simpler than my friends from home. That’s true of all these NIU kids, especially ones from the NW suburbs. I’m not trying to say that I am from the mean streets of somewhere, that’s just not true. I am from the stupid streets. These stupid streets are home to dour, not to say downright mean kids. The kids I know here are nice. That is something. The niceness, or longing for niceness is rubbing off on me.

Life is too short to not let things rub off on you.

Have I developed a new, foolproof pick up line by accident?

No I did not.