This is NOT Over

Thursday February 1, 1990 French Good

Kim's birthday. God damn it. It's been how many months since we split, and I have totally accepted that it is for good and for the good, but I still miss her. I am really sad today. I hate birthdays. I hate her. Why should I be sad that I can't spend her stupid birthday with her now when, if we were still going out I'd be dreading sitting for hours with her and Glen and Helen and the short sisters at some stale joint in Bartlett?

Oh yeah, I am a stupid fucking idiot and who knows why I think or feel anything?

Anything I was talking to Kathy B (the new door guard) when I saw Kim leave with her *sad gulp* fiancé. Late last night, after I got back from hanging out at with Danny she called me over to the front desk and told me I needed to know something. Then she proceeded to tell me something I didn't need to know and that thing was Baldy asked her to marry him and she said "Yes"

And that's all I should really say about that.

I have my thoughts on what is going to happen to them between now and the wedding that is never going to happen...but it doesn't matter what I think about other people. They live their lives, they do what they will do. Even if I am right about X or Y, people are going to do what they are going to do regardless. Commentary here or anywhere for that matter is irrelevant.

...and pointless resistance to what is inevitable renders a man perverse or something like that.

I think someone said that about Edmund Burke, or perhaps he said that about himself.

Pervert!

Back to the new, and sexy door guard. She lived in France for awhile. I bet she knows how to fuck real good…

French good.