This is NOT Over

Here is a life in desperate need of a rimshot

May 03, 2012

Thursday May 3, 1990 To Be or Not To Be Continued

Woke up this morning, naked with the phone cord wrapped around my body and a rubber chicken in my face. Again, that’s not as weird as it sounds. Chris and I have had a rubber chicken attached to our phone for almost a year now. Why?

When it rings we can answer it, “Rubber chicken phone.”

I shouldn’t admit this but I am doing something a little different with the journal. Instead of “ed wakes up, tries to read something, says something stupid and then drinks” I’m trying to serialize the events that led up to and include Wednesday night over the course of these past two entries. If I am successful, these sentences should not be in the final draft of this thing, whatever it is.

Where was I? Oh, mysterious serialization continues –

I invited all these people to the Flamingo promising them a bounty of…uh, bountiful drinks, provided by me in celebration of Bill Garver’s ascendancy to grownuphood. A fine promise, with no money behind it.

Sort of like the Great Society.

Ooooh, in college and writing bad things about the Great Society…some stupid, hippie college prof is going to come in here and take away my weed. The joke will be on them as I have no weed.

I ran into Amy in the cafeteria around dinnertime. She asked, “Aren’t you going to thank me?”

“Hi. Why am I thanking you?”

“For bringing you home from the Flamingo last night. Don’t you remember…anything?”

Uh oh and oh shit. Amy walked away laughing. Then Marnie came up to me and stood right in front of my face.

“Hi Marnie,” I said.

And she said, “Bastard!”

Double uh oh and oh shit.

I got in line for food with my neighbor Holly and she whispered, “I hope you didn’t wake up with that dirty rubber chicken in your mouth. Especially after what me and your friend did with it.”

Oh goddamn! I really want to remember anything that involved her and Amy?!?!, even if I had the filthy fucking rubber chicken in my mouth for a short, or somewhat longer period of time.

Mark called me over to his table right before I got my food and said, “It was the fourth round of shots that did us in and made everything get crazy. I warned you but you wouldn’t listen.”

Sat with Devin and Bill. Devin asked me, “So what is it today? Do you love me or do you think I’m a dick?”

“Uh…a little bit of both right now.”

And Bill said to me, “You owe me forty-two dollars ed.”

The end?

posted by edP # 9:17 AM

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This is NOT Over

May 03, 2012

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